THE LIFE OF A CHILD

THE LIFE OF A CHILD

PSALM 127:3-5, I JOHN 2:15-17

THREE MAIN CATEGORIES

1. IMPRINTED PERIOD: 0 – 7 YEARS OF AGE.

2. IMPRESSIONABLE PERIOD: 8 – 15 YEARS OF AGE

3. COACHING PERIOD:  15 YEARS AND ABOVE.

1. IMPRINTED PERIOD: 0 – 7 YEARS OF AGE.

·         Children learn by OBSERVING the behaviour of others especially PARENTS.

·         The child imprints all examples from people around him or her.

·         It can be negative or positive behaviour

·         If parents shout at one another the child also shouts at people.

·         Remember at this time frame the child is learning from the examples of others and records in his mind.

POSSIBLE DANGER AT THIS PERIOD.

“I had a hard day today; I need a drink to relax me.” – a hard day requires alcohol to relax a person.

 IMPRESSIONABLE PERIOD: 8 – 15 YEARS OF AGE

·         School going age.

·         Children learn through the lessons impressed on their mind.

·         It is a good time to teach specific life lessons intentionally.

·         The learning can be positive or negative.

·         Television programme which promote alcohol, violence and drugs as funs can damage the child mind.

·         They are easily impressed and they can easily practice whatever has been learned.

PARENTS CAN DO THIS.

·         Intentionally teach good lessons with examples for easy masterly

·         This can be done on good spiritual, intellectual, emotional and social lessons during this period of time.

3. COACHING PERIOD:  15 YEARS AND ABOVE.

·         The time to go out into the world and use the teachings acquired.

·         The period to “leave the nest”

·         Parents become their coaches for few years only.

·         As football or netball coaches, parents now watch from the side lines as their children play out the game of life.

PARENTS: MUST BE CAREFUL TO GIVE SPACE AND RESPONSIBILITY THEY REQUIRE IN ORDER TO GAIN CONFIDENCE.

·         This needs to be done in a loving, non critical way!!

PARENTING WITH ASSURANCE.

The value of accepting our children as they are.

From birth they should feel accepted.

·         Achieve what parents did not achieve.

·         If not achieved they feel not accepted.

·         Parents become dependent on their child’s achievements for their own self esteem.

DANGER: What happens when the child leaves home normally?!!1

WHEN NEED TO ACCEPT THE CHILDREN IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS:-

1. Acceptance in looks.

2. Acceptance in gender.

·         Rejecting the an unexpected child of a certain gender

3. Acceptance in ability and natural gifts.

·         Can do well in other areas like art.

4. Acceptance by both parents.

·         The child expects sincere acceptance, love and devotion from both parents.

·         DO NOT ‘DIVORCE’ YOUR CHILD

5. Acceptance even if disabled.

·         Not all born with all faculties.

·         Need special attention.

·         Regular visits, calls and communication.

A CHILD WHO FEELS UNACCEPTED WILL OFTEN DRAW ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES BY:-

·         Joining a gang

·         Using alcohol or drugs.

·         A boy possibly to join homosexuality for male acceptance.

·         A girl looking for sexual favours.

·         Wearing revealing clothes

·         Wearing clothes to identify themselves with popular people such as pop stars or sporting heroes.

·         Having unusual hairstyles

·         Living high – risk lifestyles

·         Having wrong friends who themselves often feel rejected but who will accept your children as they are.

·         Dangerous dieting

SPIRITUAL GROUNDING

·         Why spiritual grounding is important and to evaluate the spiritual grounding we as parents are giving our children.

A spiritual grounding will give children resistance to high risk behaviour through:-

·         Understanding of what life is all about and why they are here.

·         Unchanging absolute values in a fast changing world.

·         Acceptability to higher being – God even when on their own with no one else is watching them.

An anchor for life in times of crisis.

A) Good God- based spiritual grounding is a process.

·         It takes years of dedicated, sacrificial and committed effort on the part of parents.

·         God – based spiritual values need to be modelled and reinforced throughout.

B) The lack of good spiritual roots is often portrayed by addiction to:-

·         Pornography and gambling.

·         Sexual promiscuity

·         Alcohol and drug abuse.

·         Rape

·         Violence

·         General criminal behaviour.

THE DANGERS OF OUR CHILDREN/YOUTH

1. SEX
2. SUBSTANCE ABUSE
3. SUICIDE
4. SATANISM
5. HOSEXUALITY
6. AIDS AND STDs
7. PORNOGRAPHY
8. RUNAWAYS
9. SEXUAL ABUSE
10. ABORTION
11. EATING DISORDERS
12. MATERIALISM

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO

• ORGANIZE A COMMUNITY ACTION OF CONCERNED PARENTS
• PROVIDE A STABLE FAMILY RELATIONSHIP
• BECOME A GOOD ROLE MODEL
• ESTABLISH RULES BUT ALSO PRACTICE DEMOCRACY
• KEEP OPEN TWO – WAY LINES OF COMMUNICATION
• BE FRIENDLY WIN YOUR CHILD
• RECOGNIZE PEER PRESSURE
• TRY NOT TO PUNIC AND OVERREACT
• WORK TO PROVIDE A BALANCE OF THESE FOUR NECESSARY SECURITIES

I) PHYSICAL SECURITY

II) MENTAL SECURITY

III) EMOTIONAL SECURITY

IV) SPIRITUAL SECURITY

·         PUT LOVE AT THE CENTER OF YOUR HOME.