How To Focus And Get Things Done

How To Focus And Get Things Done

Here are some tips to help all of us.

1. Plan In Advance.  There is NO substitute for planning.  If you sit down and work logically through a project and create a list of all the tasks you need to get done, it just makes life so much easier.  All you need to do is consult the list and take the next task.

2. Batch your Tasks. Do similar tasks at the same time without interruptions and you will halve the time you spend doing them.

3. Turn off Automatic Email Downloads. Research has shown that “email notifications” break our concentration even if we don't actually go and check what they are.  In fact you probably take 60 seconds or so to refocus and continue with what you were doing.  The easy thing to do is simply to decide when you want to look at your email and download “chunks” of email all at one time and then spend some time reading and replying to them all there and then.

4. Use Lists.  A to-do list is a great way to focus your mind.  You can scan it and decide which tasks have priority and get those done first.  You don't have to keep reminding yourself to do something – just write it down and know it won't get forgotten.  To-do lists clear mental clutter and allow us to be much more focused.  Your list shouldn't just have the tasks that you are hoping to get done today – it should have everything you need to do – even long term projects.  The general rule of thumb is that if it is on the list – it will get done. Once you get used to working this way, you will NEVER go back.

THE LIFE OF A CHILD

THE LIFE OF A CHILD

PSALM 127:3-5, I JOHN 2:15-17

THREE MAIN CATEGORIES

1. IMPRINTED PERIOD: 0 – 7 YEARS OF AGE.

2. IMPRESSIONABLE PERIOD: 8 – 15 YEARS OF AGE

3. COACHING PERIOD:  15 YEARS AND ABOVE.

1. IMPRINTED PERIOD: 0 – 7 YEARS OF AGE.

·         Children learn by OBSERVING the behaviour of others especially PARENTS.

·         The child imprints all examples from people around him or her.

·         It can be negative or positive behaviour

·         If parents shout at one another the child also shouts at people.

·         Remember at this time frame the child is learning from the examples of others and records in his mind.

POSSIBLE DANGER AT THIS PERIOD.

“I had a hard day today; I need a drink to relax me.” – a hard day requires alcohol to relax a person.

 IMPRESSIONABLE PERIOD: 8 – 15 YEARS OF AGE

·         School going age.

·         Children learn through the lessons impressed on their mind.

·         It is a good time to teach specific life lessons intentionally.

·         The learning can be positive or negative.

·         Television programme which promote alcohol, violence and drugs as funs can damage the child mind.

·         They are easily impressed and they can easily practice whatever has been learned.

PARENTS CAN DO THIS.

·         Intentionally teach good lessons with examples for easy masterly

·         This can be done on good spiritual, intellectual, emotional and social lessons during this period of time.

3. COACHING PERIOD:  15 YEARS AND ABOVE.

·         The time to go out into the world and use the teachings acquired.

·         The period to “leave the nest”

·         Parents become their coaches for few years only.

·         As football or netball coaches, parents now watch from the side lines as their children play out the game of life.

PARENTS: MUST BE CAREFUL TO GIVE SPACE AND RESPONSIBILITY THEY REQUIRE IN ORDER TO GAIN CONFIDENCE.

·         This needs to be done in a loving, non critical way!!

PARENTING WITH ASSURANCE.

The value of accepting our children as they are.

From birth they should feel accepted.

·         Achieve what parents did not achieve.

·         If not achieved they feel not accepted.

·         Parents become dependent on their child’s achievements for their own self esteem.

DANGER: What happens when the child leaves home normally?!!1

WHEN NEED TO ACCEPT THE CHILDREN IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS:-

1. Acceptance in looks.

2. Acceptance in gender.

·         Rejecting the an unexpected child of a certain gender

3. Acceptance in ability and natural gifts.

·         Can do well in other areas like art.

4. Acceptance by both parents.

·         The child expects sincere acceptance, love and devotion from both parents.

·         DO NOT ‘DIVORCE’ YOUR CHILD

5. Acceptance even if disabled.

·         Not all born with all faculties.

·         Need special attention.

·         Regular visits, calls and communication.

A CHILD WHO FEELS UNACCEPTED WILL OFTEN DRAW ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES BY:-

·         Joining a gang

·         Using alcohol or drugs.

·         A boy possibly to join homosexuality for male acceptance.

·         A girl looking for sexual favours.

·         Wearing revealing clothes

·         Wearing clothes to identify themselves with popular people such as pop stars or sporting heroes.

·         Having unusual hairstyles

·         Living high – risk lifestyles

·         Having wrong friends who themselves often feel rejected but who will accept your children as they are.

·         Dangerous dieting

SPIRITUAL GROUNDING

·         Why spiritual grounding is important and to evaluate the spiritual grounding we as parents are giving our children.

A spiritual grounding will give children resistance to high risk behaviour through:-

·         Understanding of what life is all about and why they are here.

·         Unchanging absolute values in a fast changing world.

·         Acceptability to higher being – God even when on their own with no one else is watching them.

An anchor for life in times of crisis.

A) Good God- based spiritual grounding is a process.

·         It takes years of dedicated, sacrificial and committed effort on the part of parents.

·         God – based spiritual values need to be modelled and reinforced throughout.

B) The lack of good spiritual roots is often portrayed by addiction to:-

·         Pornography and gambling.

·         Sexual promiscuity

·         Alcohol and drug abuse.

·         Rape

·         Violence

·         General criminal behaviour.

THE DANGERS OF OUR CHILDREN/YOUTH

1. SEX
2. SUBSTANCE ABUSE
3. SUICIDE
4. SATANISM
5. HOSEXUALITY
6. AIDS AND STDs
7. PORNOGRAPHY
8. RUNAWAYS
9. SEXUAL ABUSE
10. ABORTION
11. EATING DISORDERS
12. MATERIALISM

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO

• ORGANIZE A COMMUNITY ACTION OF CONCERNED PARENTS
• PROVIDE A STABLE FAMILY RELATIONSHIP
• BECOME A GOOD ROLE MODEL
• ESTABLISH RULES BUT ALSO PRACTICE DEMOCRACY
• KEEP OPEN TWO – WAY LINES OF COMMUNICATION
• BE FRIENDLY WIN YOUR CHILD
• RECOGNIZE PEER PRESSURE
• TRY NOT TO PUNIC AND OVERREACT
• WORK TO PROVIDE A BALANCE OF THESE FOUR NECESSARY SECURITIES

I) PHYSICAL SECURITY

II) MENTAL SECURITY

III) EMOTIONAL SECURITY

IV) SPIRITUAL SECURITY

·         PUT LOVE AT THE CENTER OF YOUR HOME.

MIMI NI NANI?

FAMILY OUTREACH TANZANIA

P.O.BOX 62443, DAR. +255 0754366523,Email:willbroad68@gmail.com

MIMI NI NANI?

Zab. 139: 14

Efeso 1: 3- 4

AHADI ZA MUNGU

1. Isaya 49: 15- 16 – Hatakusahau
2. “- 66: 13 – faraja
3. Zab. 103:3
4. Zab. 121: 3- 4
5. Kumb. 30:19 – 20 maisha marefu
6. Yeremia 1:5
7. Zaburi. 24:1 – Mali ya Bwana
8. Zaburi. 37: 25 – Mungu hatakusahau

MAAMUZI

1)    Daniel 1:3 – 4 – adui hutafuta wazuri

      Daniel 1: 8 – Zingatia moyo

AINA YA UPENDO (1 John 4:7 – 8)

                              i.        Upendo wenye ulinzi (Security love)

                            ii.        Upendo wa urafiki (Friendship love)

                           iii.        Upendo wa utoaji (Giving love)

                           iv.        Upendo wa mapenzi  (Romantic love)

KIJANA NA MABADILIKO

1. Vijana pamoja na waazi hupewa ushauri na Elimu kupitia vyombo vya habari.
2. Wazazi pamoja na vijana wao taarifa hizi huwachanganya
3. Watu husema matatizo ya vijana huchipuka kutokea nyumbani.
4. Kuna utengano kati ya wazazi na vijana wao GENERATION  GAP.
5.  

MAANDALIZI YA VIJANA

1. Mtu mzima hujengwa akiwa bado mdogo
2. Misingi ya imara ya upendo na heshima huwekwa na wazazi utotoni.
3. Wazazi hutakiwa kuishi mahusiano mazuri na Mungu ili vijana kadri wanavyokuwa watarisishwa hayo na kuyaishi pia.
4. Kijana anachokiona kwa mzazi wake ni Lenzi ya kioo kuona ulimwengu ulivyo

9 – 12 miaka kijana huwa wazi sana.

1.    Kuwa kijana ni muhimu na ni kitu cha kufurahia  - HAKIRUDI.

2.    Wazazi wanawajibika kuandaa njia pale kabla ya kuingia jamuhuri ya ujana.

3.    Kijana akiwa na urafiki na mzazi au mlezi wake ataweza kuzungumza kuhusu

-          Misukumo Rika

-          Mahusiano

-          Urafiki aliojenga

-          Mamlaka

-          Tendo la ndoa

-          Upendo na Mungu (imani)

·         Wazazi hujisikia uzito kuongelea haya.

KIJANA NI NANI?

1.    Kijana ni watu wawili ndani ya mmoja

“ Between – age”

Mtoto na mtu mzima

·         Miaka 10 bado tegemezi na kucheza

-          Miaka 19 mtu mzima.

-          ANAWEZA KUCHELEWA

            2.  Mabadiliko haya sio marahisi

3.  Baadhi hutumbukia katiaka shida hii mpaka ile

4.    Mabadiliko yanaweza kuacha jeraha katika wanafamilia

5.    Chakusikitisha vijana baadhi huingia maswala ya mahusiano kabla hawajawa tayari kuwa na majukumu.

6.    Wazazi huitajika kipindi hiki kuwaundisha ju ya kufanya maamuzi  sahihi kazini,shuleni na nyumbani,

7.    Baadhi ya vijana huanza kutotii wazazi wao kwa sababu kutaka kuwaonyesha kwamba ni wakubwa sasa.

8.    Wazazi ambao hawajajiandaa vizuri hupata shida sana kipindi hiki.

9.    Wazazi hutakiwa kumwandaa kijana anayewajibika anayewezza kujitegemea na atakae kuwa mzazi mzuri pia.

MABADILIKO

1. KIHISIA -Emotionaly
2. KISAIKOLOJIA - Psychological
3. KIAKILI - intellectually
4. KIMWILI - physically
5. KIJINSIA. -sexualy

A)   MABADILIKO YA KIJANA KIHISIA (EMOTIONALLY)

-          Vijana hakika ni wepesi kuharibika wakishikwa vibaya ! ni kama yai!

-          Ni lazima uwe makini nae karibu katika kila kitu hasa hisia zao.

                                                  i.        Kushindwa kitu au mtihani

                                                ii.        Kulalamikiwa na kutukanwa

                                               iii.        Kudhalilishwa mtizamo wa wazazi wao

                                               iv.        Kukataliwa na wenzao (peer group)

                                                v.        Kujihisi hajakamilika, hisia za kujishusha (feeling of inferiority)

                                               vi.        Kutoridhika na jinsi anavyoonekana, akili yake au uwezo wake.

                                              vii.        Wanaweza kujisikia kukosa matumaini na kukosa msaada * Wazazi kuwa walio hapa.

                                            viii.        Katika hali hiyo kukosa kujiamini  (self esteem)

                                               ix.        Kupanda na kushuka kwa hisia zao mara nyingi hushindwa kuzidhibiti.

                                                x.        Mabadiliko haya ya hisia yana uhusiano na mabadiliko ya HOMONI na mabadiliko ya mwili kukua.

-          Kijana hujisikia aibu sana

-          Mwingine kujiamibni sana au mkali/mjasiri

-          Wakati mwingine hushuka moya (moody) hasira au kukosa furaha au kinyume chake.

-          Wakijisikia vizuri kuheshimiwa na kueleweka basi huwa juu ya dunia kwa furaha.

-          Wakati mwingine hutaka wachukulwe ni watu wazima na baada ya muda mupi utawakuta wanalia kama watoto wadogo.

NOTE: Kipindi hiki ni muhimu wazazi wakawa IMARA KIHISIA ili waweze kumsaidia tineja!

B) MABADILIKO YA KISAIKOLOJIA (PSYCHOLOGICALLY)

1.    Vijana pia hujitambua kama mtu kamili tofauti na aliye simama.

                                                      i.        Kufikiri yeye mwenyewe bila msaada.

                                                    ii.        Kuwa mbai na maamuzi ya watu wazima

                                                   iii.        Wanahitaji sana kuhusiana na mtu au kuwa katika himaya ya mtu mwingine (NOT LONELY)

                                                   iv.        Kukubalika

-          Kuwa sehemu ya umati (Conform – social group)

-          Wanahitaji sana urafiki na watu maalum (Loging for friendship with special )

2.    Kuna wakati hujisikia kutengwa na kutoeleweka

-          Hujaribu kujitenga na wakati huo huo huogopa kukaa peke yao ili wasionekane tofauti !

C) MABADILIKO YA KIAKILI (Intellectuall)

Kijana hujifunza kutoa sababu ju ya jambo lolote yeye ya mwenyewe.

1. Akili hukua haraka kipindi hiki
2. Fulsa kupata ujuzi /Elimu, kupima, kanuni, kupima maoni na kulinganisha maoni.
3. Hawapendi kutii bila kujua sababu ya kufanya hivyo.
4. Hupenda kuwauliza watu wazima maswali ya kupata sababu ya jambo au maelezo ya ziada.
5. Msisitizo uko juu ya sababu zaidi kuliko kuwavumilia wengine.

NOTE: Wazazi hupata shida sana eneo hili.

C) MABADILIKO YA KIMWILI(PHYSICALLY)

-          Hukua haraka kimaumbile * Mikono na miguu hukua kwanza

-          Ukuaji huu wa haraka unaweza kufanya mwili upate uchovu * Vijana wengi hupata matatizo ya ngozi

Positive side: kuwa na nguvu na uwezo zaidi * wengine hupeleka nguvu zao katika michezo na huurahia kuwa na afya njema.

NOTE: Wazazi wanahitaji kuwa wavumilivu wakati vijana wanajitahidi kuendana na miili yao mipya

-          Ni rahisi sana kuudhika

-          “simama vizuri wima”

-           “usitembee kizembe”

D) MABADILIKO KIJINSIA (SEXUALLY)

-          Vijana pia hukua haraka sana kijinsia.

WAVULANA : ALAMA ZA KUONEKANA  (Miaka 11 – 17)

-          Mwenekano usoni

-          Nywele sehemu za mwili

-          Sauti kuwa nzito

-          Baadhi ya sehemu za mwili kuongezeka ukubwa

-          Kuwa na mbegu za kiume (wet dreams)

WASICHANA:

-          Matiti hutokeza kifuani

-          Nywele kuota kwapani

-          Viungo vya uzazi ndani kukua

-          Kuingia kipindi cha hedhi (Menstruation) (miaka 9 – 15)

Kumbuka : tunapaswa kuwa makini na utani mbaya kuhusu maumbile.

-          Hujisikia vibaya kwa yae yanayowatokea wakati wa haya mabadiliko

• Wote wana misukumo ya kimapenzi sana .

1. Wavulana wanaweza kusababisha mimba lakini hawako tayari kijamii au kihisia kuchukua majukumu kama baba.
2. Mimba inaweza kutungwa kwa binti lakini pakawepo na matatizo ya uzazi kutokuwa tayari kijamii na kijinsia .

MAWAZO POTOFU:

a)    Kusubiri bila kufanya tendo la ndoa uaweza kuugua.

b)    Tumbo likiuma tafuta mvulana (Menstution period)

MASWALI YANAYOULIZWA                                 

                                          i.        Ushoga,tendo la ndoa nje ya

                                        ii.        Marafiki wanaotaka kufanya tendo hilo

                                       iii.        Kuelekeza nguvu katika kazi nzuri, michezo sio, wizi ,ulevi, uzinzi n.k.

KUMBUKA: Wasichana hukomaa maema kuliko wavulana kijinsia.

WAZAZI: Wanatakiwa kueleza, kufundisha vizuri maana ya mapenzi, jinsia na uhusiano.

-          Wasipoundishwa au kutoa elimu sahihi ADUI anaendeea kutoa Elimu Potofu, kupitia marafiki na vyombo vya habari.

“UTAMADUNI WA VIJANA – (Youth Culture)

By WILLBROAD PROSPER